Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I hate my clothes

These words were first uttered on Saturday after three nights of fashion shows and being around women whose fashion and style I admire... I kept looking towards my awkwardly shaped closet, sighing and wishing something exciting would pop out at me. I am 163 days into this and it does not surprise me that with 202 days to go, I would hit a wall. So far, I've had little complication or frustration with my closet... even as far as being able to say that I love my clothes. However, when I am faced with what I do not have (every night for four nights straight), everything else seems mundane. My clothes no longer hold the excitement and freshness they once held.

Yes, I do realize this is a tad on the dramatic side but in my own defense, actively denying myself one of my greatest pleasures is just hard. I want so badly to just quit, and give in.... but at the same time, I won't.

I have even stopped buying so many shoes and accessories. In April, I only purchased a pair of black strappy wedge sandals, a belt, and some earrings. I am starting to realize that my shopping for clothing problem does not rest at clothing, but that it is just an addiction to spending. Whether its spending money on going out to eat, music, movies, drinks with friends, etc. I receive a huge thrill just being a tad bit irresponsible with my money. Well, starting in May, I'm done with that. I have refreshed my budget, allotting money towards paying down my debt (shoot paying it OFF) as well as a budget for going out, groceries, and extra expenses that come up. I simply do not want to live like this anymore.

So I wanted to post this and just let everyone know that I'm not some super human who can completely deny herself everything. It is painfully hard. And there are days when I want to throw in the towel, but I CAN'T.

To try to alleviate some of this heartache though, I have started sewing my denim shirt that I have been talking about for months. It is going surprisingly well despite having problems with the way my bobbin thread was wound. It took me so much longer just to get the darts done because of this issue! Pictures of progress soon.

Thank you for reading this far if you did. I could give you a prize but I don't have a prize to give.

10 comments:

  1. Have you tried checking out a clothes trading site? I have a very limited shopping budget, so I love finding used stuff on Rehash (www.rehashclothes.com). New (to you) clothes for free, plus good for the environment = I love it.

    www.thriftypoet.blogspot.com

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  2. This is actually great to hear. My job prevents wardrobe boredom, but It also makes me feel incredibly guilty for shopping in real (non-thrift) stores. Sometimes I read your blog, and wonder why it is so easy for you to deny yourself. It's good to know that you are human. Good luck with paying down/off your debt. If you can accomplish that then you will definitely feel like this was a year well spent. (a year well not spent... see what I did there?) Keep it up. You're doing great.

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  3. Alyson, what an honest post. I don't have any advice or words of wisdom for you, I just wanted to say that I read your post and you can consider this a virtual hug! Robyn's right, you ARE doing great, keep your chin up and before long you'll be looking at day 365 and feeling a sense of accomplishment!

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  4. I went on a 2.5 month shopping ban and learned a lot about why I shopped -- most of the time it was boredom. I'm not sure why you're on your ban or what all your goals are, but if it has any flexibility, I would suggest donating some clothes to goodwill and getting a few new (to you) things at a thrift store. It wouldn't break the bank, and it would alleviate to boredom. Same goes for organizing a clothing swap with friends. If this doesn't apply to your ban, please ignore.

    Hang in there!

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  5. Augh, I totally feel your situation. I am not on a ban, just a "diet" and I already fell off the wagon after not one month. Reading your words really helps and I am trying to be inspired by your situation. Also, if you end up buying something, that's OK. You can always return it after the thrill of purchasing is gone too? Also, can you try to borrow clothes from friends or family? I find that this also helps.

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  6. aww darlin, I'm in the very same boat. I stopped blogging because it made me face my dull closet everyday and made it really hard not to buy something new. I too have a terrible spending problem! The mister decided to quit his job one day while I was out on a business trip and now money is even tighter. I have eased the pain by trading and borrowing clothing from friends... I'd love love to organize a clothing swap, I have a ton of things that are not new to me but I'm sure could make someone else smile.

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  7. i really admire your commitment to not only not buying clothes, but being a better spender in general for yourself, and for the economy with buying local, etc. i was just telling a friend how you inspire me! hang in there and hope to see you again soon : )

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  8. Anonymous3:43 PM

    Thank you so much for posting this. I know exactly how you feel because I too am addicted to spending. It doesn't matter whether I'm grocery shopping or buying shoes - the simple act of exchanging money for goods just gives me the biggest high. It has been really tough for me to stop spending like that an start paying off debt and saving, but so far it's been worth it. I will keep you in my prayers regarding your struggles - keep going - it's all worth it in the end!

    Sarah Wood

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  9. I am on "diet" for almost a year. I used to shop and shop. I realized no matter how many pairs of shirts I have If there's no inspiration at that moment I don't like not one in the closet. and everyone has a non-inspiration moments. that's a normal. don't be sad.:) you can have entire chloe collection and still nothing to wear
    xoxo

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  10. Hahahaha! I loved this post! It's so funny and yet easy to relate to! You had the emotions down from the very first paragraph. This is my first time reading your blog (saw your comment on something else I was searching for) but I hope you're doing better now, because that post was written more than a year ago. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for sharing and keep writing, it is very enjoyable to read :)

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