Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Responding to critcism, and how I suck at it.
I will be the first to admit that when it comes to teachability, I have such the short end of the stick. I do not respond to criticism well at all. As much as my stubbornness to change is learned, it is also innate (two days... two days my mom was in labor...). For those out there that are not only children, you have no idea how blessed you are. This only child curse can turn anyone into a brat. Again, first to admit that I am a brat, sometimes... a lot. You never realize how often you get your way, until you stop getting your way and then you realize, you are a brat.
I recognize that this road that I have taken seems alien to some. Why leave the emotional, mental and physical support of friends and family? It is hard to recognize you're own strength when you are constantly being held. We are meant to struggle. If the opposite were true, we would be clouds.
My friends and family know that I am a thinker. It takes things a while to sink in. Yes, often my first response is defense, but I'm working on that. I am learning the difference between reacting and responding. I am learning to become more open to criticism and advice. However, I do take the things that people say in very deeply. I tend to be easily wounded by others. Often, when it comes time to cope, I just need a minute to think and process. I will say, I just need some time to think about it. This is another thing I am learning, and it is all part of growing. Forgiveness is huge in this, but also making people aware of their words. Maybe its the southern woman in me or maybe I held the movie Bambi too close to my heart, but if you are going to criticize someone or something there are words, and for those words there is a time, and for that time there is a place and they should all be taken into account before a word is uttered or typed.
I was listening to Talk of the Nation on NPR and came across an interview with Amy Dickinson, a syndicated advice columnist (Think Ann Landers?). She was talking about graceful comebacks. How do you handle it when someone says something to you that burns? I encourage you to listen, she has some very great wisdom and application and stories to back it up.
I know this post isn't about fashion, or shopping, its actually about me and every once in a while, I'll do a post about me.