So... I lost my job. No outfit post today because I didn't get a chance to snap photos before I started bawling my eyes out. I have debated about even writing this blog post... because this is something so very deeply personal... but I feel like the more I talk about it then the more it will help me heal. Although yes this is a personal fashion blog... the emphasis is definitely on the personal part today. I don't want to discuss the who said whats or why's. I truly believe that this is a kick in the butt for me to bloom into a career, a job, a place that will be even more awesome than my former job. Which is really exciting because as far as places to work go, my former place of employment was pretty great.
Hundreds of emotions are running through me right now. One of the most difficult emotions I am dealing with is that I just feel humiliated. Humiliation is such a difficult emotion for me. I have always been somewhat successful at life... well within reason. And just this type of failure is really hard. I hate failure and I am getting such a giant dose of it right now. I feel like the shorts that I screwed up two weeks ago are nothing compared to this. I understand though that this happens but I am trying desperately to believe what is true and right. And not what is a lie.
Secondly, I am so scared. I have no idea what I want to do right now. I know what I like and what I love, which are fashion, interacting with people, the internet, and writing. I want to be somewhere that I am challenged and being mentored. I want to be somewhere that I can be lead and nurtured and then inspired and encouraged to be my best and step out in confidence. I know that there is going to something amazing out there for me, I just have no idea what that looks like yet. Its really really scary.
So there, I said it, its out there. Thankfully I am in a place financially where I can take some time off and figure all of this out. Which, I am desperately in need of doing. I am going to take this time and sew, and work out and of course just do some soul searching. I am not sure what my next step will be but there will be a step and I am pretty sure its going to be great. Okay, it WILL be great!