The days leading up to your vacation always make you realize how much you need a vacation. This trip to Florida had been planned pre-lay off and so when I was laid off, I was concerned about Florida. I am so glad that I was able to go on this trip though. I will talk more about the logistics of the trip, but I want to address the emotional side of the trip for me, because in a way, I need to therapeutically process it and and I process through writing.
In the days leading up to the trip, monumental, life changing things were going on (or about to go on) in the lives of some of my best friends. I, also, had hit an all time low about my lack of proper permanent employment. I was officially so panicked about money that I could not sleep at night. I could just feel the walls of "crazy" closing down on me fast. And getting all my ducks in a row before leaving seemed impossible. In fact, I only missed one thing to pack and missed two things on my to do list, my razor, sewing a bow tie, and cleaning out my fridge.
But something happened once Sam and I set out on the road. All of those worries and concerns could not be taken care of because I was gone. I couldn't worry about whether or not I was going to forget something... it was already forgotten. I couldn't worry about money because it was going to get spent and I could only do my best. I couldn't worry about my massive to do list because those things did not get done.
My only cares were about swim suits, adult beverages, fried seafood, sunscreen and sting rays. The only legit care was the sting rays because I seriously stepped on one on accident and was petrified of having an uninsured trip to the emergency room. All I had to do was wake up and soak up every little piece of vacation I could. I am so thankful for this trip with my family and Sam. I am so thankful there was no internet. I felt the best I had felt in a very long time. It felt good to forget about all my troubles and just be.
Vacation reminded me to just love the people in my life well, but also to be loved and cared for. I am a big believer in that, in everything you learn something. Perhaps in my season of unemployment I am supposed to learn to not doubt myself. To do my best and to be satisfied with that. To have no regrets, but to only look towards the future. And finally that it is okay to be cared for.
A huge huge huge huge huge thank you to Lauren, Mel, Paige, Nickie, and Robyn for standing in my place while I was gone. I was FLOORED by how amazing these women took care of my blog! Again, I felt so incredibly taken care of.
I am writing this Sunday night so, I most definitely should go to bed so I can get up early early early tomorrow morning. Can I go back on vacation yet?